Boredom, Binging, and Books

23 01 2010

So I know I’ve mentioned before that I was a closet candy addict. Well this is not an exaggeration. I show all the classic signs of addiction. I have stashes of candy or other sugary items hidden in the house (unless I’ve eaten all of them), I hide the evidence including any wrappers not even putting them in the garbage cans used by other so they might see them, and I go through withdrawals when I don’t indulge. Tonight was one of those nights, I wanted sugar and resisting seemed to just make me want it more. I obsessed constantly thinking about how I could just get into my car and go buy something. No one would have to know, my boyfriend was at work and I am skilled at hiding the evidence. I tried to distract myself from the cravings but the boredom of being home alone only made it worse.

Finally I broke. I got in my car planning on driving to Giant and buying something, probably a big bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms which I would eat the majority of it about an hour or so. Disgusting right? But as I was driving I suddenly came upon some little used willpower and a stroke of genius. Instead of driving to a grocery store I could do something productive with my time and avoid any temptation. I know it seems a little obvious but this idea had honestly never come to me before. And so I set out instead on an adventure to find a book to read. It seems like a simple task and it honestly was after my first little miscalculation. I had originally headed to the university library. However, it appears that college students don’t find the library an interesting place at 8 pm on a Saturday night and so it is closed. Shocking I know. I probably should have realized this simply based on the fact that I never once even tried to go to the library at night on a Saturday when I was in college.

I was not about to give up after I had come up with such a great way to keep myself away from sweets and so headed to Barnes and Noble. It was wonderful. The bookstore was exactly what I needed and even though I was tempted to indulge in a sweet at the Starbucks inside I resisted and am proud to say I have broken the binging cycle! At least for tonight! It may seem like a small feat to you but after struggling with sugar for years I feel like I’ve turned over a new leaf at last.

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